Alice Wonderland

in the Abyssal Rabbit Hole to Perditious Netherland

le début

I started work on a little side project of sorts while I try to find more writers to work on finishing my Ave Molech pieces. So for now we have a short piece of narration by the delightfully mad Alice, recanting her memoirs and advice to those who would find themselves within worlds lost. More about the work will be posted here as I get closer to it's finish. For now I'll leave you with an excerpt...but please note the following first:

• The following writing is unedited
• I'm hoping to have this story finished within the next couple months
• If you'd like to read the full works of Lewis Carroll you can do so here

While I am often asked to recant my adventures within the many realms of Netherland I have always thought it best to inform people of the true nature of these lands and offer some advice I believe to be sound. Perspiration, Participation and Preservation as my mother always told me…actually I don’t think she told me that at all, in fact, as I look over those words now I do believe I could have just very likely made them up in my head with no real rhyme or reason as to their meaning. But aren’t they grand sounding? I was planning on having a purpose to them, but for the life of me I can not picture what it was. Oh, yes, now I remember…

When falling down a rabbit-hole it is very important for one to bring with them the three following items (to be used as needed or required by the immediate situation one could find themselves in). The three “P”s as I would call them: A Poniard, a Pocket Watch and the Proper Attire for greeting ones audiences.

The Poniard. While having the very typical uses of cutting loose ones bonds, prying free a sticky marmalade covered jar lid, or lifting the latch of a troublesome door it is important to never forget that the safety of ones self must always come first. Therefore, to ensure a proper cushion of personal space at all times it may be required of a woman (or man as the case may be) to actively pursue the use of using ones dirk or skean-dhu to pierce, prick or puncture the tender areas of a would be attacker. For definite aggravated assaults on ones self the thrust and repeat method is often recommended and found appealing to those who wish to forcibly remove an intruder from their existence in a more permanent manner.

The Pocket Watch. A delightful display of engineering ingenuity with all of the miniature clockwork on goings that one can expect to see and think of, but never quite grasp. While it’s always important to keep ones self aware of the passing time; especially if you find yourself in a situation where a companion is about to be executed and you must find proof of their innocence for their captors before they are executed. It is also a good means of prolonging ones well being if they find themselves falling down a rather deep well or chasm and require the assistance of slowing down time by either sliding your finger along the winding mechanism or in most cases simply turning back time to the point of where you did not fall in the first place. Just make sure you don’t break the handles, as some have found themselves stuck in a permanent state of moving backwards or worse suspended in the air with not a clean pair of panties in site. If this sad lot befalls you, it’s important to have planned beforehand to have befriend time himself, who if affectionately called upon, may be inclined to help one out of a given occasion.

Proper Attire. Whether you are meting the Grand Duchess Sandy Vaj of Tear Land or the local spinster wife at the pub for a pint of your favorite ale it’s important to have on the appropriate fashions. While greeting royalty it is important to dress up and apply a moderate amount of makeup as to impress but not over impress ones sense of appeal. With commoners it is required to adorn one self within a more homely look that will hopefully result in them accepting you as one of their own and not as someone of higher stature. Since with commoners it is likely that they will not care for you much if you are their equal or lower, and they will disrespect you if they find you of higher caliber, it makes more sense to ignore their desires all together and dress how one would like to be seen, not necessarily treated. I recommend a light colored one-piece spring inspired dress covering the essentials of womanhood, but offering glimpses into ones appealing features. For men it is always a necessity to wear a waistcoat and doublet. While these three items can be most useful, it is also important to keep ones wits about themselves. But we’ll talk more on this later.