So I’m about to get personal. Perhaps even cross the line. As most people who know me in real life, know that I am someone who is at most times emotionally detached from the people and on-goings that surround me. But something that happened recently that awakened a part of me I had not thought of for some time, and while this may sound like the beginning constructions of a poorly written fictional narrative, I assure you this is my most honest self.
I received an email with this subject from someone who I would be lying if I said I had never Googled their name when I first truly began to use the internet back in ’97. I even signed up with that Class-Mates site out of curiosity though I seem to have forgotten my password and well, I never paid for the site’s features at all anyway, so I suppose it doesn’t matter.
There was a time before I became the person I am today, before I became what some might call a cold, indifferent bastard, of the likable sorts…Odd I know. In that time there was a girl, one of the many I wish I had stayed friends with but because of various unforeseen circumstances I could not. Vagueness may be taking hold here, but it’s important to keep things this way given our current state of affairs.
In any case this email, though simple and innocent, brought with it a flood of emotions, memories and a past I had chosen to forget. Now that this door has been opened, I feel an uncontrollable curiosity, the kind that would kill cats, to find an answer to the queries I proposed in reply and perhaps to find a resolve with this knowledge that would help me to now cope with the questions asked.
If you are indeed out there, I would like to know, and of the others in the group who were unfortunate enough to experience the purgatory our breeders should have endured I would ask you to reply. If for nothing else than the fact you opened Pandora’s box and messaged me with but a simple, singular question, upon which so much has been influence upon my hatred of the very nature of what said groups may stand for.
Wow, do I sound full of myself or what? But seriously, I responded to an initial inquiry that lead to no reciprocation. Ok, I guess I am a bit pretentious online.
Perhaps I should have simply answered. Yes.